Ruben and I had delicious fun last night with a bunch of friends who came over for dinner. It was great introducing this eclectic group of friends to other and watching them connect. Years ago I would have wondered if I had chosen the right mix of people, or the right menu, or if my house was truly suitable (meaning big enough or clean enough) for the soiree to be smashingly successful. Now I know the truth: successful parties, or successful projects of any sort depend on your management of the internal factors, not the external variables.

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"Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it's the thing that's really preventing us from taking flight." Brene Brown, PhD

You know you're not perfect, right? You're not struggling to be above reproach or beyond criticism. I know you're not like these people who study English/Spanish or any foreign language for 20 years and never speak a word of it because they're waiting to get it down perfectly before trying. Right? Read more »

Clarity is vastly underestimated. 

You don't usually hear much about it, unless you're diamond shopping, which I hope you do on a regular basis. ;-)

Clarity is a huge topic and probably I'll write a book about it next year, based on my eCourse, but I want you to think more about clarity to get some major benefits in your life. One good thing about Clarity is that it's free. Read more »

Which natural resource is vanishing today faster than any other? It's the resource you need to have more impact; it's the attention span of your audience (i.e. your kids, clients, prospects, subordinates, etc.) Distractions have always been there, but today people's attention is constantly being pulled in dozens of dozens of different directions. As you read this post, if you make it through, your mind will probably visit at least 20 different places before you get to the end. Read more »

Only read this if you've ever felt like quitting on a goal that nobody really cared about anyway. This is a true story starring Mixonian Institute's own intrepid headmistress!

I just finished swimming 100 lengths of the community pool and it took me an hour and 5 minutes. To give you some perspective on this, Brent, this young man I sometimes tutor in Spanish, can swim that distance in about 15 minutes. However, it's really much worse than you think. Last year this time I could easily swim that distance in under an hour. I serenely completed the Lowcountry Splash 2.4-mile open water swim last May. This year's event, prominently displayed on my goal list, is 4 weeks from today and I'm not ready and I want to give up and not do it. 

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One of my beautiful daughters recently bucked the high-school tradition by deciding not to participate in a 3-day "prom house" with her date for prom. I had misgivings about 20 teenagers spending 3 days in a beach house designed for 12 people, with little if any supervision, but ultimately she made the decision not to go. (Thank God!) What she was most worried about in letting the other people know of her change of plans, was that they would "get mad at me." Not a very empowering way of thinking, right?

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"Self-confidence is knowing that you have the capacity to do something and deciding not to give up." The Dalai Lama

Probably the thing people ask me about most often is "sounding professional." While being professional and sounding professional are NOT the same thing; you do have to recognize that you are a professional before you can sound more like one. In putting together their presentations, a common misconception I find in my clients is that they talk about their topic without mentioning any their personal relationship to to that topic. If you don't have a deep personal tie to your topic, also known as being passionate about it, for heaven's sake, talk about something else!!! Life is too short for just going through the motions. Read more »

What I mean by complaining is pointing out the negative aspect or interpretation of a person, a product, or a situation, in order to get it out of your system. I'm not saying I never complain like that, I am saying complaining never solves anything. That isn't to say you should never give feedback, only to take care in how you do so. It's one thing to let the waiter know your fish was served cold, it's another thing to get angry and pitch a fit about it. Or worse, complain to other people how awful it was, but never letting the people who can actually solve the problem, know about it.

This is a tricky issue, of course, because biting your tongue, if that's the only thing you do, will put holes in your tongue, but not solve anything either. It's not only that you refrain from complaining, the deeper solution is to interpret what you see from a more powerful perspective. Read more »