Yes, I know that BEING married is not the same as GETTING married. These are some things I learned through the process of going from "victim" divorced and confused ex-wife to confident me.Here are some reminders for you.

1. For heaven's sake, LIGHTEN UP. (Look for reasons to laugh.) If you can do this, you are so way ahead of the game.

2. Give family members and friends permission to disapprove of your decisions, while accepting that they're doing the best they can from their own paradigms.

3. Expect miracles.

4. Get clear on why you're doing it, whatever "it" is.

5. Ask yourself what you need to feel better right in this very moment.

6. No matter what's gone on in your past, you still get to decide what happens today.

7.Be grateful for the people who love you.

8. Be generous in sharing your happiness (don't be waiting for the shoe to drop.)

9. Celebrate your mistakes -- think of all you've learned!

10. Sometimes it really is best to bite your tongue....especially if you're stressed out.

11. Keep looking for the best interpretation of everything that happens and everything people say.

12. Allow others to help you.

13. The best alternative is not always the most expensive one. (I spent less than $100 on my whole wedding outfit, but spent almost that much on hair and make-up.)

14. Get plenty of rest...even more than you need.

15. Enjoy the chaos of summer scheduling, fall classes start soon enough.

16. Spend more time with the people who make you laugh.

17. You really are never too old for a fresh start. Think of Colonel Sanders.

18. Whatever it is you feel you desperately need, get to where you really can live without it.

19. Take the next step that appears, even if you don't know the step after that. 

20. Give everyone another chance.

21. No resentment is justified. Forgiveness is a gift to yourself.

22. Tiny weddings are so much fun!

23. If you allow it, love really does conquer all.

FREE BONUS: Ruben says to add that we've learned how to have a glorious honeymoon accompanied by our 4 kids! But that's rather outside the scope of this blog. ;-)